Feelings vs. reality

Flannery O'Connor is knocking my socks off right now.

From her writing, I can tell she has an ample supply of the following: Southern colloquialisms, insight, and gusto. And I must say that I fancy all of above.

Like Flannery, I am learning in starts and stops. Life does not come in clear categories or bowtie ballistics, but it does come. In your face. Now. Graceful one moment, torrential the next.

And yet, what I feel is not reality. If there's one thing that I could say has been my defining moment the past few months, it is this realization: what I feel is not reality. This is HUGE.

The reason it is HUGE is because it has enabled me to take a step back from moments of confusion, sadness, anger, apathy, moments in which I would have ordinarily labeled my life in accordance with my feelings and wallowed in discontent. It has enabled me to step back and separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. The real from the perceived reality. These are two separate things, and sadly, much damage is done when they are equated.

Not to say that we don't sometimes have accurate perceptions. There is a place for discernment, for being wise as serpents (and innocent as doves). But I think part of discernment is stepping back from our feelings, too---and really weighing what we're seeing. This does not mean that we discount our feelings--they have a purpose. They can tip us off when something is not quite right or is wonderful. They can be useful. They can also be misguiding. All in all, they must be faced for what they are--feelings, not reality.

I think that our feelings should not be something to fear or worship. They should be recognized as parts of us, just like the color of our hair, or size of our feet. They can be a good thing in our lives when seen in proper perspective. When given full authority, they can choke out the good and distort our view of reality.

I think that I have it on good authority to write on this subject for the following reasons:

• I am not a purely rational person that discounts the purpose and experience of feelings.
• I understand that feelings are beautiful, powerful, and have the ability to express deep parts of a person that little else can.
  
• I am myself a person that has more feelings than I know what to do with (honesty) ---In other words, I am a hot mess :)

Flannery O'Connor is a hot mess too. In my words, not hers. I don't think she would understand the label----until I had the chance to explain it to her, of course.

Just some thoughts,

Ashellen