God has been revealing to me the difference between selfish tears and redemptive tears. I have cried many tears in my life (deep feeler that I am). Selfish tears have come as a result of natural consequences to my sin (worldly sorrow) or because my desires have not been fulfilled the way I wanted. But these tears are different. They are tears of a broken and contrite heart. They are tears that see the brokenness of the world and long for healing. They are redemptive tears. On the other side of these tears, there will be laughter and joy. I am already experiencing some of it. And there is more to come. Praise Jesus for these tears.
I attended a day-long workshop today on addressing Family Violence in the Faith community. I was thankful that so many sectors came together--counselors, clergy, law enforcement, and legal staff to collaborate with the purpose of bringing family violence to an end. While I was glad that faith was being addressed alongside the intervention of government-supported agencies, I was disheartened by the fact that the real answer to end violence was hardly addressed at all. No amount of education or collaboration will truly end violence. It may change the form of it. But it will not end it. Since violence is a product of the evil in men's hearts, only the transformative power of Jesus will end it. Not that our education and collaboration do not have purpose--praise God for the work of government that restrains evil and establishes justice. Still, I know deep in my heart that it is not enough. The rabbis and imams may adhere to a strict moral code and lay out the law of God before the men and women of their synagogues and mosques. Without the light of Jesus dawning in their hearts, though, all people are powerless to change. Violence may morph into subtler forms of manipulation--but do not be fooled. Where the root remains, other mutually destructive fruit will emerge.
The gospel is ever on my tongue--I have shared the good news of Jesus many times this week! All because I feel my own desperation and need for Him. Praise His name that He uses us powerfully in our weaknesses. I find my love and compassion for others growing with each surrender. I want so much more of Jesus. Tonight praying with my sisters, I told Him He could have it all and meant it. I will do whatever he wants. I'll move to Africa and mother orphans, like Katie Davis. I will trudge forward in dance and counseling here. I will be content in little and lack. I will be joy-filled in pouring out. I don't care. Give me Jesus.
My prayer is that His name is exalted among the nations. I want him to come back and rescue his bride. I am so grateful to be a part of his flawed, beautiful bride. However I fit into His name being exalted, so be it. I'm looking for him to bring beauty out of these ashes and can't wait to see how he's going to do it. Is it any wonder I am enamored with redemptive tears? Cue the music. Let us dance.
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